I have not painted in a while as I was busy with yoga and meditation practise as well as a whole lot of other distractions. Sometimes, I balk at painting because I have a perfectionist attitude. I want so much for the painting to be beautiful, to be perfect and fear that I would not do justice to a piece of blank white paper. It is rather silly I know, but I am not alone I am sure. Instead of seeing each attempt as a moment to be enjoyed, a moment to learn, that we are always works in progress, we choose unwisely to load that activity and that moment with so much expectations and emotional baggage that we forget to savour it. Sometimes we become so fearful and stuck that we never start.
I picked up the brush again today. Instead of the usual 16 x 12 inch water colour paper, I decided to paint in this little 4 x 5 3/4 inch Monologue sketchbook. I’ve only used 1 page so far since buying it almost 2 years ago as I’ve had this fear of spoiling the sktechbook with one bad sketch or painting. But actually, it is less intimidating due to its smaller size. I have a dear friend who has a really generous spirit and who had given me a lot of support over the past year. Today she came all the way to my home to give me birthday present – a box of many surprises. Inside were incense sticks from Bhutan and Tibet, a Japanese teapot and chocolates – all my favourite things in the world. Plus a few other extras thrown in to make it a box of miracles. But the time and attention she has given me, to support me emotionally and in my health has been the most wonderful gifts.
As I thought of her I decided I wanted to paint something to remember today. I searched the Internet and found that orange trees symbolise generosity and wisdom. I saw a lovely painting of an orange tree and decided to replicate it. It’s a simple painting. Not much skill to it since I’m not very skillful. But it captures the spirit of the moment – my gratitude and joy. And that’s what matters.
To all who have family or friends, even just one, who give you attention when you need – you are indeed blessed.
Like I am.